Astounding
How I shed my dreams
To please them

Astounding
How I shed my dreams
To please them

If the push pull
Of love seems tough
Remember how to keep
Your heart tender
Recall the one lost
Push back her hair
Hold her cheek
Listen to her speak
Let her words seep
Into the cracks
Unkempt skin
Grown thick
Only to peel away
Layers of regret
Reveal a fine form
Of kind understanding

If you ever loved
Someone and gave
All you could
Let them go
Remember that
The seeds
Turn into fruit

If I could ask just one thing
Of a girl's best mate
How to be in love
And never speak its name?
How to hold it in
For short hours soon to end
Only to explode
Smiles and tears on journey's end
How to read a book
Admire a view
When next to them?
Eyes like infrared
Tracing everywhere she went
If this secret she relays
Would keep me in this band
To spend another five, ten years
Waiting for her hand

At four o’clock, conscious of his throbbing heart, Levin stepped out of a hired sledge at the Zoological Gardens, and turned along the path to the frozen mounds and the skating ground, knowing that he would certainly find her there…
It was a bright, frosty day. Rows of carriages, sledges, drivers, and policemen were standing in the approach. Crowds of well-dressed people, with hats bright in the sun, swarmed about the entrance and along the well-swept little paths between the little houses adorned with carving in the Russian style. The old curly birches of the gardens, all their twigs laden with snow, looked as though freshly decked in sacred vestments.
He walked along the path towards the skating-ground, and kept saying to himself—“You mustn’t be excited, you must be calm. What’s the matter with you? What do you want? Be quiet, stupid,” he conjured his heart. And the more he tried to compose himself, the more breathless he found himself… He walked on a few steps, and the skating-ground lay open before his eyes, and at once, amidst all the skaters, he knew her.
He knew she was there by the rapture and the terror that seized on his heart… There was apparently nothing striking either in her dress or her attitude. But for Levin she was as easy to find in that crowd as a rose among nettles. Everything was made bright by her. She was the smile that shed light on all round her. “Is it possible I can go over there on the ice, go up to her?” he thought. The place where she stood seemed to him a holy shrine, unapproachable, and there was one moment when he was almost retreating, so overwhelmed was he with terror. He had to make an effort to master himself, and to remind himself that people of all sorts were moving about her, and that he too might come there to skate. He walked down, for a long while avoiding looking at her as at the sun, but seeing her, as one does the sun, without looking.
‘Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy, chapter 9.’

Flicker. Fade. Ignite.
Line of sight
As grey goshawk peers
Down at maker's fingers
Plying spoils of earth
Like she toys with prey
Watching
Ruminating creative urge
Gives birth to treasure
Of unmeasured worth
Polished pleasure
First ever seen by
Naked eyes
Akin to mother earth
Fragility of life
In this temporal sphere
Only compounds her worth

A stirring from cavernous
Subterranean layers
Within me release
Seismic activity
Barely touches
The needle
Blossoming upwards
Blissful pockets
Of breath rising
Hinterland well spring
It bursts through
Surface though
No one hears
Air shifts feathers
Goodbye
For now

How sweet and sour
Watching the time
Flit by
Strange how one person
Can make you
Laugh and cry
By doing nothing
I take off my
Pink hue lenses
Sheets of rain
Plummet to earth
Flooded
Shall I keep them on
For everyone's sake?
Rhythm with you
Is life
But sunnier
Than we know it
Whispers sent
Along with
Daily messages
Silence
Synaesthesia
Reveals to me
Grey and white
Like the sky today
An endless parade
Of solitary quiet
Twisting up to view
The sky
If I remain
Survive

Two loves worn
Handsomely like
Two coats
One hung for months
Until something special
Then adorn its lapel
Under my chin
Hugging my limbs
To all the best places
The other extraordinary colour
Well worn seams
Faithful in all seasons
Repairing its occasional
Pill and tatter
Strangers wide-eyed at
The style of the latter
How I long for daily
Great coat
A love that keeps warm
Whatever the matter

A christmas card
For the previous owner
Every year
No return sender
How to tell her
How long ago she passed?
Her gesture arouses
A reminder
How we'd gladly
Hold her hand
In her final hours
To not be alone
Could not speak
Thank you, dear
Such a gesture
Is true love
Now, how to find it
Among the living
Busy, overwhelmed?
Love at peace
No certain future
Content in silence
No eye on wealth
Love with no returns
