Fostering Love

Years ago we dreamt of a foster child

before our numbers grew

We believed a child

could grow in our home

yet affection would misconstrue

no desire to return the favours you give

no gratitude for the way we live

With this in mind I watered the soil

to love and care for you

Love from Frank

Where your heart lies

there your treasure lies too

Give that treasure to all around

without payment or compromise

silently waiting to share in another’s

heart.. listening for a beating or breath

only silence rings.

I run to double the beats in my ears

double the breath to push down my fears

that although surrounded I am alone

They form a ring around me

facing out, their backs do not reply

I fall to the ground, prostate

on the carpet that I laid, soft and new.

Sobbing echoes against these antique walls

as if occupied by many grieving widows

will my soul haunt here if I pour out my all?

I stare at the golden hue

bursting through the retro windows

let the golden rays kiss my face

and forever remember that He says to me

“I love you.”

I feel I have stepped back from a sharp precipice

as I gaze at the crisp perfect circumference

of the moon in full bloom

I casually stroll through the door

return the key to my sanctuary

‘It belongs to me, too’ I whisper.

The honey on my lips sublime

sears the sting of wind chapped sores

The only outward sign of pain

The rest I store inside, until next time.

003

Slay me down

There is a name of one

who is my kryptonite

upon utterance all my defences

fall down I cower and return

to my world of torment

The name is secret to all but few

Forever in fear that the name be known

that all will utter it seemingly innocently

and take me down

revengeful, resentful, trust in few

Is it you?

Used to be

Image

Used to be that

Every time I saw you

I walked away and cried

From the tone in your voice

The way you raised your eye

The whisper on your breath

You thought you could deny

Used to be that

Every time I saw you

I caught you in a lie

hints and blunt suggestion

Words like bricks would fly

But now i never cry

Since i stood my ground

And took my aim

And drew pistols at fifty paces

And shot the crooked lie

Here I’ve hung it out to dry.

Surrender

Tout comprendre c’est tout pardonner..

“To understand all is to forgive all”

– Evelyn Waugh Brideshead Revisted.

This quote originated somewhere else at an earlier date – Leo Tolstoy in War and Peace; I am inquisitive about it – as to its meaning.

I have reflected that to truly understand (or empathise) one must have suffered a similar situation or to a similar degree. No one would wish that upon anyone. Therefore I consider it important to note that true forgiveness is not about empathy or understanding from our own experiences, it is a giving up of one’s self – our criticisms and doubts and selfish desires – to consider another person more important than oneself. It does not require in-depth understanding but a depth of character that is reflected in Christ’s nature – to reflect the image of God.